In the movie, both characters become best friends through work. In the first scenes, the are both dumped by the people they are seeing. With a bad taste for relationships in both of their mouths, the two cross paths due to their jobs. They tour New York together and continue to hang out after they are done working together, and they both soon realize how fed up with relationships that they are and they both wish they could have the sex aspect of the relationship but none of the emotion or heart break. This is how this easy going "love story" begins.
In class we learned about the pros and cons of a friends with benefits relationship as established by professionals. Lets start with the pros:
One would be sex with a trusted partner. In the case of Mila and Justin's characters, they have become friends with no intentions of dating, so they could count on each other and trust each other. Another aspect many see as an advantage is there is no commitment. All the "relationship" is is meaningless sex, or that is the expectation. Another term that could be used is a booty call, but the difference is that the two participants hang out as casual friends during the day. Many want the satisfaction from physical relations without the risk of being let down or having their heart broken. This type of relationship is seen mostly in the college setting. This can be assumed that it has to do with the college setting. Although the friends with benefits type of relationship can be very appealing to some, it is not an option for others due to the disadvantages of this type of relationship.
Now that we know the pros, its time for the cons of a friends with benefits relationship:
A large fear of many is that it could possibly complicate the friendship, after all they were friends before anything else. I can not deny that there is a real chance that the friendship could be ruined if the casual sex only relationship does not work out. Another fear many have with a friends with benefits relationship is "catching feelings". The term "catching feelings" refers to the chance that one of the participants might start to have more than friendly feelings for the other or even fall in love. This could also ruin the friendship if the other participant does not feel the same strong feelings. "catching feelings" also violates the rules of a friends with benefits type relationship. The point of this type of deal is to have all of the physical aspects of a romantic relationship without the chance of heart break or any commitment. The fear of "catching feelings" is what brings in the final fear of getting hurt when the relationship/ agreement terminates. It is a non-exclusive relationship, so there is the chance of one of the participants falling for someone other than the other participant.
Even though the negatives seem to outweigh the positives, the only reasons people seem not to partake in these types of relationships is if they have moral or religious reasons or they feel strongly that sex belongs only in a romantic relationship.
In the case of Mila and Justin, they do both start to develop stronger feelings for each other and it almost ruins their relationship. In the end they decide to pursue a romantic relationship and live happily ever after
Though being friends with benefits is not a romantic relationship or a relationship that demands commitment, it still requires the amount of communication that a romantic relationship would have. In order for the relationship to work, it is important for the partners to communicate effectively. In order to communicate effectively, it is important to do three key things. The first is to be open. Talk to each other about feelings, attitudes, and opinions. The second is to be kind. Respond to each other in a calm kind manner and let each other know that you are listening. The third and final thing is to be flexible. It is important to not get frustrated if one participant does not want to be physical at certain times or jump to the conclusion they are cutting you out. Mila and Justin did all three things and their friends with benefits relationship worked, and the minute they stopped it went up in flames.
Though it is a light-hearted and fun movie, "friends with Benefits" really drives home the points taught in CAS 283 as well as supporting the research done by professionals. Remember, this type of relationship is not for everyone, and, even though Mila Kunis and Justine Timberlake make it seem fantastic, one should only get involved in a friends with benefits relationship if they are mentally prepared for one.
